The Good, The Bad, and The Quirky

The Good...

• Its Summer!!!! Shorts, singlets, jandals, glasses, hats, windows down while driving, sunscreen and all things summer.
• I had heard about the lovely blonde, blue eyed Scandinavian women but no-one said anything about the men!! Let's just say there are many shiny fish in the sea up here, ha!!! (for those of you who are more interested in tall, dark and handsome: they have many of those too!!)
• Ahhh the transport system - it makes sense - imagine that!! It's even colour coded for those of us with a more arty style of communication!!
• The furniture stores! Think of Freedom furniture in NZ as equal to K mart and you'll begin to get an idea of how classy furniture and household items are here- totally affordable too! (no wonder my house looks like a hotel!!!)
• The bakeries...ahhhhhhhh, you would not believe it if I told you, so I took pictures. You can salivate while I enjoy, hee hee!
• The people - so easy to socialise with! It'll be even easier when I speak their language!!
• Everyone has bicycles and there are raised bicycle lanes all over the city and separate mini traffic lights just for them! They also have the right of way in all circumstances!
• The beautiful old buildings- walking around Copenhagen feels like being sent back in time (if you can ignore the cars and technology which also surrounds you)
• The history - its everywhere. A house or building which is less than 80 years old is considered new.
• I am living in a house which feels remarkably like a hotel - classy interior decorating, underfloor heating (this is just divine when entering the warm tiled floor of my private bathroom in the morning), delicious food, dining in tranquil garden setting.
• I'm living with a fantastic Danish couple the same age as my parents, they are super helpful, friendly, and best of all we spend most of our time laughing and speaking a hilarious combination of broken English and Danish.
• Catching up with Camilla and Lisbeth (My super Danish friends who were in New Zealand last year) .
• A church where they speak English and sing the songs I know!!
• Its not very often you arrive in a new country to a family, friends, home, church and opportunities for lots of social activity - I'm blessed and totally thrilled!!!

The Bad...

• The summer here is much like the summer in Auckland: four seasons in one day - lets just say on some days I am wishing I didn't send my winter clothes by sea economy post!
• "I must not get distracted, I must not get distracted..." did I mention the beautiful people up here!
• The transport system freaks me out!! There are buses, trains, metro (that's underground trains which run automatically without a driver! - more Hollywood scenarios coming to mind) you have to buy tickets for a certain amount of zones. Fair enough, its a great system - granted - but I have no idea when/where to get off or where to go once I'm off eek!
• The bakeries!! I am going to be rolling home soon! (I am hoping the cycling and walking and lack of a car will help in this area!)
• Did I mention they speak Danish here? Eek its a hard language to learn. I am slowly picking it up but it tires me out and sometimes the temptation to plug my fingers in my ears is rather strong (don't worry I have resisted thus far).
• They drive on the other side of the road here. I know you know that but its impossible to navigate! - mix this with hugely different road rules, unusual road signs and markings and hundreds of cyclists who ALWAYS have the right of way!
• All cars are manual - my co-ordination problem rears its ugly head yet again. So much for my international drivers license I was so excited about!
• When you purchase a car you have to pay the government 180% of the price you are paying for the car (to deter people from owning cars), I still don't understand all the complex taxes and fees you have to pay each month for your car as well!!
• The money is entirely confusing, 4 Kroner is $1, I keep freaking out when I buy things and they say 100 kroner ($25) or I see my favourite shampoo labelled as 50 kroner. I know the exchange rate but it's not cemented in my head yet and I still gasp every time I see the prices.
• Everything is in Danish!!!! The computers, books, newspaper, road signs, recipes, labels... I used to spend so long in NZ reading the labels on beauty products and picking just the right one. Now all I do is smell it - if it's nice I get it. I did know all of this before I came but it is rather overwhelming.

The Quirky...

• Picture this: A good looking 20 something guy in styli clothes riding an old fashioned black bicycle with a basket on the front. Now surround yourself with them and you've got a regular busy road scene in Copenhagen. I still haven't stopped smirking at the sight!
• The mini traffic lights especially for cyclists.
• The raised bicycle lanes on all roads.
• Cycles with little tents on wheels being pulled behind them (this is what you do when you have children and don't have a car!)
• The sheer amount of apartment buildings. They are everywhere!! All stairs, no elevators or emergency exits.
• No sky scrapers. All buildings are 6 stories or less.
• Danish weddings: There are no bridesmaids or groomsmen, the bride and groom don't say vows and they don't sign a register. Basically the priest talks a lot, several hymns are sung in super slow motion, the couple are blessed and its all over! Oh and they wear their rings on their right hand. (I considered swapping my ring over to my left hand but the 'When in Rome' theory doesn't really appeal to me much).
• While most younger Danish can speak English very well, they are hesitant to speak it in front of a native English speaker as they are convinced their English is not very good (I guess this is the result of learning it through school and not really using it in every day life) result: no one speaks in English unless they absolutely have to.
• Many Danish are secretly hooked on watching McLeod's daughters.
• When they say Denmark is flat they mean pancake flat! I went on a short road trip on the weekend and I would say in the 2 hours that we were driving I would have seen only a few small rises in ground level - including what could be seen in the distance!!!

Creative Writing: Out The Window

(An example of fantastic time-wasting on a plane, this was all completed in my nice blue journal with my four colour pen while gazing out the window)

With the excitement of flying a distant memory (that rudely disappeared after the first 10 minutes) one must look within themselves to find a deeper sense of peace to calm the nerves and settle the paranoia. On discovering not a shred of peace within, I decide to look out the window instead.

Auckland to Honk Konk can be fondly described as... black, black, black (it is night time.) However the arrival is something to marvel at. Despite the fact I was rudely placed in a seat next to the wing (I have nothing against wings in fact I think they are very helpful- Id just prefer to be sitting somewhere else), the ugly view of metal conveniently tips towards the land exposing an incredible Lego-land below. I feel my eyebrows lift and suck in the recycled cabin air in an expression of awe. I now have a vivid picture of how so many people can populate one city. Towers of glass reach up towards the sky reflecting the early morning shades of apricot and blue, bouncing white reflections off each other as if the occupants were playing with magnifying glasses at their windows. Each cluster of identical glass buildings weaves its way through the hills and flat land creating intricate patterns which could only truly be admired from above. My mind wanders and images of dramatic Armageddon movies complete with flying rocks mix with the image of the glass skyline of Hong Kong, I can almost see the glass shattering and hear the screams. Hmm, a wandering mind can be a great place for a Hollywood movie script to form. I shake my head to rid it of the movie it was creating and sneak a glance at my neighbour in the seat next to me to make sure my craziness had remained inside my head - she was sleeping (still!! practically the whole flight!!) I snap a few pictures of the skyline to add to my future travel Album and am politely reminded by the air host (lovely guy) that all electronic equipment must be turned off for landing. I had heard the announcement but they specifically said cellphones, laptops and video cameras so I thought I had found a convenient loophole (never one to break a rule but great at locating loopholes!) The plane flies away from the glass towers and begins descending into a more remote valley surrounded by steep green hills. The airport comes into view and within minutes I'm digging my feet into the floor of the cabin to help the pilot slow the plane down on the tarmac. We taxi slowly through a maze of runways and eventually pull up to the caterpillar passageway which sucks itself onto the plane exterior conveniently providing the weary passengers with an air conditioned walkway to the international terminal.

Arriving at an airport without fans waiting is an unusual experience, I follow the crowd of people down the passageway as if I know exactly where I'm going. We end up in a large lounge where everyone expertly disperses down numerous hallways in all directions. I ask a nice looking lady at the transfer desk where to go (looks are deceiving!) she rudely points to her left and without looking at me growls; "over there".

Eventually I decide to rely on my own navigating skills (which I believe are quite good)and find all the departure information is in English (thank goodness!!) 6 hours passes like a slow boat to China (ha!). Sleeping on my carry-on bag on an uncomfortable bench at my next departure gate was likely the riskiest thing I did during my time in Hong Kong.


Thankfully I'm back in my next comfortable aeroplane seat, sitting conveniently next to the window though this time I'm not as lucky and don't have a spare seat next to me. My new neighbours seem quiet and serious (not my favourite kinds of people) so I don't make much of an effort to be friendly. Taking care to spread out as much as possible, I remove my belongings from my pack and stash them conveniently around myself. Take off is smooth, my feet brakes are not needed at all (that's a relief!) - its so odd how such a big metal beast can be so graceful and smooth when launching itself off the ground - pays not to think about such things, my over-active Hollywood script writing brain is starting up again!

Hong Kong is not at all what I expected. Who knows where my images of it had come from but I did not expect to see beautiful clusters of green clad islands wrapped in cream ribbons of rocky beach and dotted with many identical red fishing boats. The murky grey of the water reflected the smog enveloping the land as if to purposely ruin the cities effort to be an island paradise. Man made sand bars jutted out from the islands in unusual patterns like a Hong Kong version of the American crop circles. The islands eventually dissipate and merge into land mass which is mostly green and very ordinary.

Food is served conveniently distracting me from the now boring landscapes sliding past the window. My neighbours still look serious so I choose not to make small talk during lunch. It's not long and the distraction of eating is over, the window still reveals a boring slide show so I turn to my bag of goodies for entertainment.

12 hours in a plane is exceedingly boring, I was considering writing 12 hours worth of boredom but that would be a cruel way of sharing my pain with you so just imagine how it feels to regularly look at your watch when you're sure at least 2 hours has passed and discover its only been five minutes. Then add to that feeling of dismay the restriction of being stuck in a seat next to two serious non talkers, the seat in front of you is fully reclined, the view out the window is bland and you're bored with all the goodies in your carry on bag. aghh! What we need is a little excitement. Enter the bloodshot eyed NZ boy...

It's a story line straight from a soap opera or sitcom. I'm sitting in my seat gazing out the window and I hear my name. As you do when this happens you turn around expecting to see someone you know. A tall guy (about 25yrs old I guess) in a bright yellow T-shirt says in a very kiwi accent - "are you Rachel from New Zealand?" I stumble and have to think if I know the answer to his question "ah yeah I think so" I answer after a pause. My two serious neighbours seem quite interested in our odd conversation (who wouldn't be after numerous hours of nothingness?). Yellow T-shirt guy explains that he is sitting in front of a NZ girl I had met earlier in Hong Kong and she had remembered my seat number. They thought it would be fun to hang out so I was cordially invited to follow him up to the front of the plane where they were sitting. My serious neighbours were now not so thrilled as this meant they had to get off their tooshes to let me out. We meet up the front of the plane and squat in the aisle chatting about nothing in particular as you do with total strangers. Finding we are entirely in everybodies way we move to the air hostesses area where my New Zealand buddies ask for more alcohol (being that I am rather naive I had not made the connection between yellow T-shirt guys blood shot eyes and inability to walk in a straight line). Yellow T-shirt guy proudly launches into conversation explaining that he had been caught smoking in the toilets and will be taken into police custody when we arrive in Germany. (That explains the announcement earlier from a rather annoyed sounding captain that smoking was not allowed on board and we were all lucky we were not landing at the nearest airport in Russia to kick off the culprit) Yellow T-shirt guy spills his beer all over the floor in mid conversation and watches it trickling down the aisle with a grin on his face. An exasperated air host comes over to clean up the mess. At this point I'm starting to feel somewhat uncomfortable, however it was when yellow T-shirt guy stole the bottle of red wine, broke a glass and spilt NZ girls glass of wine on the floor that I decided to make a swift exit. Backing away I said good-bye to my NZ buddies who were disappointed I was obviously out of my comfort zone. As I walked past a disapproving air hostess I heard myself say "I'm not with them they are Australian" hee hee, funny what comes out of your mouth in a tricky situation. I was entirely relieved to get back to my serious neighbours. Deciding they weren't so bad after all I began chatting with the Chinese girl next to me who surprisingly had a strong British accent. We didn't swap names but I did find out she worked for World Vision in Hong Kong and was on her way to London to visit her family. We were able to chat here and there for the rest of the flight. There's a good lesson for me against making judgements about people based on how serious or fun they appear to be!!!

Ahh, so I had heaps more creative writing about the beautiful sights I later saw out my window including drunken winding rivers, bald mountains, miles of snowy mountain ranges which dissappeared into sandy desert and hours of observing uninhabitable lands from the comfort of my safe aeroplane seat. I must have drafted at least 5 Hollywood movie scripts in my crazy mind during the flight from Hong Kong to Frankfurt. Which reminds me, I have said nothing about what Germany looked like from the plane, in 30 words: imagine a luscious tree-laden land where all of the houses looked identical (red roofs, cream walls) and were nestled in suburb sized groupings with larger buildings here and there. That's exactly what I saw flying into, then out of Frankfurt, though I seriously doubt it is all like that.

Anyway, there is some creative writing for you, most of which I drafted on my flight, taking up at least 2 - 3 hours of flying time!!

until next time...Farvel!

How To Pass Time on an Aeroplane

So you've commited yourself to a long haul flight and can't see yourself sleeping for 24 hours, whatever will you do!?

There are many ways to pass time on an aeroplane. It takes planning, commitment, patience, creativity and a measure of insanity. If you're lacking in any of these areas you'll just have to imagine that you have it all (don't worry about the insanity though that will come automatically after the first hour).

First you need to be prepared for what a long haul flight entails. DISCLAIMER: the following is based entirely on my experience and therefore will be somewhat dramatised for effect. Your past or future long haul experiences may be entirely different.
DO NOT choose one of those lovely green carry-on suitcases as your travelling buddy, they weigh around 4kg which is more than half of your carry on weight allowance, you will only be able to take two books on board with you. If you have already purchased a small suitcase, kindly gift it to a friend or family member and ask them to contribute to your next carry-on baggage purchase. I suggest a super-lightweight-small backpackers bag that clips up around your waist and upper chest (ladies you need not worry, these straps are generally adjustable and can be manoeuvred to avoid that squashed and bulging look we hate so much). Make sure you also have a small travel bag for your tickets, passports, foreign money, credit cards etc. You can choose an ugly skin colour one or go for the classier black style which can also pass as a small handbag for when you arrive at your destination (I will never pass up an opportunity to purchase a new handbag!) These small travel bags are perfect for limiting paranoia, there is only one place to look for your passport or ticket so you know if its not there then its definitely lost or stolen and you will not have to rummage through your carry-on bag. (In theory this works but if you have a heightened sense of paranoia you may still panic, my suggestion is to purchase a travel bag which has 1 or two pockets).

So you're all sorted with your travel gear and you're ready to pack your bag. This is possibly the most important step in a successful long-haul experience. These precious items will be your only true companions for your entire flight and therefore need to be chosen carefully. Firstly about a month before you're due to leave, go and purchase a chapter book, one which you know you will really enjoy. Place it somewhere where you can see it for the month leading up to your flight and deny yourself the pleasure of reading it. The building desire to know what is hidden in the pages will increase your excitement for the flight as you know this will mean you can finally read you book (If you're not really into reading, I can't help you sorry). Second make sure you take a blank journal, preferably in your favourite colour but if you have been given one as a gift be respectful and use that one instead even if it's blue and not green. A four colour pen is the best companion for this journal (this is ideal for travel as it takes up less room than four pens in different colours). The latest technology is important, if you do not currently own an ipod it is about time you joined the revolution and purchased one before they are outdated by something more technologically advanced! Have someone gift you expensive earphones and an aeroplane adapter for these to enable you to listen to the on flight movies without having to use the airlines old fashioned headphones. Brothers a great for these sorts of gifts. IMPORTANT NOTE: aeroplane adapters ARE available at dick smiths. When the daft salesman tells you they do not have them in stock I suggest you dramatically make your way to the shelf and pick it up yourself (its floating around in the clear plastic boxes with all the other adapters) take it back to the daft salesman and show him that they do have it in stock, you can then ask to be served by someone who knows what they are talking about and check that you have indeed picked up the right adapter (this worked well for me), could someone please start a new chain of shops to compete with dick smiths so I can boycott them, thanks.
third: pack all of the types of medication you use, for example I had: panadol, nurofen (these can be taken together for those reaslly bad headaches), razene, sudafed, jetlag tablets, and sealegs travel sickness pills - a great tip for these: put one under your tongue and leave it there apparently my pharmacist says the blood supply under your tongue goes straight to your brain so the drowsiness will kick in quickly and send you to sleep - I have no idea if this worked for me but I did sleep.

For the girls: you need your make-up and those convenient make-up remover wipes, if you do sleep, your mascara can end up all over your face which can be rather embarrassing. It's also a great time filler to remove all your make-up and put it back on again during the flight (I did this several times, rather fun). Also I took a small bag of jewellery and changed this occasionally too, every minute you can waste counts!

I recommend highly that you take a travel pack of wet wipes, these can also be a great time waster but are also an essential for washing hands before eating and cleaning your face after eating (food on a plane is not the tidiest experience and if you're lucky like me you'll probably have turbulence at each mealtime).

Pack some quirky things to do (not knitting though boys as the needles are considered a weapon - I know its disappointing but you'll get over it) I had a pack of cards, fluro paper and inky black pens, a 1B4 book for practising my Danish and a self help book "how to win friends and influence people" by the way that is an excellent book which I highly recommend!!

Finally make sure you have a digital camera and/or video camera. Film and take pictures of anything and everything (within reason - remember to respect peoples privacy) You can see examples of my in flight photos when I up-load them in the near future.

Pack all of the above well and return things to exactly the same place in your bag each time you take it out, this limits paranoia when searching for things. Make sure you place the heavy things at the bottom to balance your load and to prevent the hunchback posture when carrying your load, this is not entirely flattering or comfortable.

When you are on-board make sure you stash your lightweight carry on pack under the seat in front of you for easy access to all your goodies. It is important that you realise this space is now yours for the duration of the flight, you paid good money for it. spread out - if you're lucky the seat next to you may be empty, quickly claim this before the person on the other side does, put your carry-on bag under their front seat and stretch out your legs!

Now the key to a good long haul flight is time wasting, luckily im an expert at this so my flight wasn't so bad. For all of you who are efficient users of time who can't stand wasting it, ha ha back at ya!!! finally my chance to shine. I'm sorry your flight will be long and boring and until you learn to waste time effectively I suggest you stay at home or get some very strong sleeping pills which instantly stop working at each airport you have to navigate.

HERE'S SOME IN FLIGHT TIPS:
1. Watch movies on AIR NZ, you have your own screen and can choose from the latest movies at your convenience. Other airlines are not so accommodating.
2. Request window seats when you first check in. Looking out the window is a great time waster. The window is also fantastic to lean on when you choose to sleep. Its also a nicer neighbour on a plane than a person.
3. wear pressure socks, they were fantastic I didn't have achy legs at all, I also didn't get deep vein thrombosis which was a bonus!
4. Take your shoes off, if you're usually a stinker, use shoe deodorant please, you may have paid highly for your seat but so did the person next to you.
5. Be friendly to the person next to you, in flight conversation is a great waste of time. and a shunned neighbour can be a mean neighbour!
6. Be considerate plan toilet trips for when others in your row are going, it is a pain to ask people to stand up for you. Go even if you don't need to at this time - if you have any conscience you will feel horrible having to wake someone up so you can relieve yourself. NOTE: when the people in front of you put their seat back it is almost impossible to get out of your seat - I have no solutions for this though it was kind of fun standing on the aeroplane seats.
7. Be firm but considerate with the person behind you, its hard to eat a meal when the seat in front of you is fully reclined however all other times you should feel free to put your seat back even if the person behind you starts kicking it when you do.
8. Remember you are an ambassador for New Zealand. Do not drink in excess, don't smoke in the toilet, don't be rude to the air hosts and hostesess and do not steal bottles of wine. (These things all happened by New Zealanders during my flight from Honk Konk to Frankfurt!) NOTE: If you are caught smoking on the plane the pilot is legally allowed to land at the nearest airport and kick you off, you are then liable for the landing fees - approx 100,000 NZ dollars. You will also be taken into police custody at the next destination (yes I did see this happen to a NZer - I told the air hostess he was an Aussie - good save huh!)
9. Don't be afraid to press the hostess button for extra water or snacks - you paid highly for the service make sure you make the most of it!!)
Finally 10. About half an hour before your flight is due to land, check you area thoroughly for all your belongings and pack them carefully back into your bag - take your time, if done right this can take your right up to the time when you have to buckle up for the landing.

Remember folks the key is to waste time. Every second wasted adds up, do everything slowly and inefficiently during your flight and you will see the time 'fly' by (he he).

until next time:

Farvel!